Loving Enough to Leave

It’s ages since I’ve written a blog. However, after The Women Like Me Luton & Beds Conference I’ve re-committed myself to sharing from the heart. My major learning of late is love isn’t always about being there through thick and thin. Sometimes love requires you to leave.

So Why is Leaving Loving?

Firstly, leaving my relationship meant I remembered to love me. It meant I had finally acknowledged that I and my feelings mattered. It meant I had accepted my relationship was toxic and abusive, deciding to stand up for myself and my happiness. For a long time I’d been surviving and felt like I was slowly dying inside. I lost connection with myself so didn’t realised how anxious I’d become or that I was becoming depressed. Losing the fight needed for my hopes and dreams to become a reality. Slipping into a state of existence, numbed existence, where I just go through the motions. Leaving meant loving myself so I could stop trying to be okay and just start being again.

Another reason why leaving was an act of love is because it meant my daughter would be able to grow up with a mum who breathed. What I mean by that is a mum who was present, who lived in the moment, who felt. Instead of a mum struggling, falling into depression and anxiety and simply trying to survive. My example would be one that she could follow in life and relationships. As I would learn how to set and uphold appropriate boundaries including being treated with respect and love. Leaving was love as my daughter would now be in a home environment in which she would feel safe because I felt safe.

The last reason why leaving was loving is because I didn’t stop loving my partner. I just stopped hoping and wishing he would change. I recognised change was something he had to want for himself but I didn’t have to suffer while he figured that out. I realised leaving would give him the chance to see just how damaging his behaviour had been. A chance to reflect and see ‘it wasn’t that bad’ was a lie. I knew, however, change might never come and whether it did or didn’t wasn’t on me. I left that to him and God. Leaving was the loving slap that might awaken him and I wasn’t looking to benefit from it. I wasn’t going to look back.

Leaving meant my life took unexpected turns that VERY few understood. It meant my life sunk to depths I never imagined. Here I was a professional, a business women in refuge. On top of that I wasn’t 100% sure that I was doing the right thing. Yet leaving meant I was free. Free to learn and free love again. Starting with myself.

There’s a saying, if you love something set it free and if it’s yours it’ll come back to you. Love yourself, set yourself free and you’ll come back to you. I’m here to tell the tale. And I’m breathing with a smile on my face. There’s life after abuse. You can recover. And you can learn to love yourself again.

All the best

Jasmine ??

Speaker, Trainer, Coach and Director of The Like Me CIC.

Jasmine is determined to make a positive difference to females in Luton and Bedfordshire. Primarily through events, training and in future a magazine. Jasmine shares her story to empower and encourage others. Jasmine’s authenticity comes from her belief that when she lets her light shine, others are encouraged to do the same.

The Women Like Me Luton & Beds Conference Speakers

Below are the bios of the fantastic speakers who shared from their heart to encourage, empower and inspire the hearts of those who were present at The Women Like Me Luton & Beds Conference.

Our theme was ‘From Feeling Fear to Feeling Free’ because fear affects each of us, often in different ways. Nevertheless what we have in common is that we have felt fear. Fear may have held us captive but we wanted to be free. So we met on 20th June 2020 at #TWLMLBC to reclaim our freedom.

Check out the fantastic speakers we had and find out a bit about them below.

Meet The Speaker… Debbie Gilbert

Debbie Gilbert is a multi award winning businesswoman who has been in business since 1998. Her passion is supporting start ups to succeed which led her to write the Amazon best selling book ‘The Successful Mumpreneur’.

Aside from owning a successful marketing and events agency she also owns Mums UnLtd. These are support groups for women in 9 areas helping them on the road to business success. Debbie loves to support Mums get the balanced life they crave and enabling them to work for themselves successfully.

www.mumsunltd.co.uk

Meet The Speaker…Danielle Bridge


Danielle is the founding director of ABC Life Support CIC, a First Aid Training organisation, an associate instructor for MHFA England as well as the Co-chair of Cambridge Mental Health Network.
Danielle has a passion for delivering First Aid courses to people in the community as well as organisations. In terms of physical first aid, we delivering impactful mandatory first aid training and in terms of mental health first aid we are delighted to be able to empower organisations to start conversations and begin implementations of systems which support people in the workplace.

Danielle has delivered a number of courses and spoken at a number of events across all sectors and has the ability to adapt her delivery accordingly, making each delivery unique to the client. Feedback from delegates is overwhelmingly positive and Danielle takes pride in making the training as interactive and interesting as possible.

Meet The Speaker… Hasina Rahman

Hasina Rahman
Hasina is the owner of a female only martial arts club in Luton, Pink Diamond Martial Arts. She has achieved 3 black belts in 3 different styles of martial arts and has been running her own club for the past 5 years.

She is a public speaker raising awareness for anti-bullying and self-confidence. This year she released her first children’s book; Heroes, a guide to anti-bullying. Hasina wants to empower women and girls with confidence, self-love and life saving martial arts skills!
She is also a mother of two young wonderful boys, who keep her super busy!

Meet The Speaker…Daniella Blechner

Daniella Blechner is an Award-Winning entrepreneur, Founder of Conscious Dreams Publishing, Bestselling Author and Book Journey Mentor who is passionate about inspiring and empowering authors to transform their stories, messages and powerful journeys into books of impact and influence.

Daniella assists authors through the publishing process and helps them to create, publish and market professional books of value and significance. Over the last eighteen months, Conscious Dreams Publishing has published over 60 books, 16 of which have become bestsellers. Daniella has also mentored over 180 authors. She is passionate about empowering authors through this process and is always looking for authors with powerful messages and stories to share with the world; ones that educate, inspire and empower. She runs a workshop for aspiring female authors called The Power of Your Story to assist them in gaining clarity and vision for their book as well as get clear on the self-publishing and writing process.

She is passionate about providing a platform for women to have their voices heard and stories shared in a space of empowerment. Her conscious dream is to ensure that our unseen images and unheard voices are portrayed positively on a global scale and that those stories are told by those who experience them.

www.consciousdreamspublishing.com
info@consciousdreamspublishing.com
www.consciousdreamspublishing.wordpress.com

Meet The Speaker…Katrina Sargent


For many years Katrina struggled with a lack of self worth, self belief and was stuck in a negative cycle of depression and anxiety following a traumatic childhood. From the age of just 6 years old Katrina was sexually abused by a close family friend which lasted until she finally escaped at 17. ‘I spent the first 20 years of adulthood going from one bad decision to another, often self medicating to take away the pain. I honestly believed I was destined for a life of misery.’

Today Katrina runs her own successful business, is happy and loving life.
Find out how she turned her life around and to finally let go of the past that was holding her back.

Meet The Speaker…Samara Barnett


Samara is a 23 year old singer/songwriter from Bedfordshire. She is also The Warrior Mama, a single mother to two under 5’s. Samara shares on the challenges faced balancing motherhood with her dream of singing and performing.

She has two singles currently out on all music platforms “Voicemail” and “Inside Out”. She uses music to express herself in a positive way and she aims to be a positive and strong influence to her children and all those who come into contact with her.

Instagram:
Music: @_samarasings
Mummy Diary: @samarasmummydiary

Meet The Speaker…Haneefah Muhammad

Haneefah has over 20 years experience as a Social Worker, mainly with people experiencing complex mental health issues. She plans to return from a career break to join social care and health colleagues during the current health crisis.

Haneefah is also a Soul Empowerment Coach, public speaker and an Author of two books – The A-Z of Stress Solutions’ (2014) offers tips for taking care of our health and wellbeing to manage stress. My Soul Purpose (2019) is a collection of Haneefah’s poems about life, living and learning on the journey to find our true selves.

Haneefah connects with people individually and with groups in an authentic and empowering way. She runs workshops, seminars and presentations and helps people transform their beliefs, thoughts and actions to create more inner connection, freedom and happiness in their lives.

Haneefah has lived in Luton for nearly 20 years and is still discovering the richness and diversity of this historic town. She contributes to the community through the arts performing her poetry and other activities at local events. She is a trustee of Reclaim Life a charity in Bedfordshire that promotes emotional wellbeing. Haneefah also volunteers with the Beds & Luton Recovery College, a mental wellbeing service.

Meet The Speaker…Jasmine Mbye


Jasmine is an accomplished Speaker, Trainer, Coach and the Director of the Like Me CIC. Above all of this she’s a mum. Jasmine was born in Luton but lived most of her life in London, returning to Luton in 2015 and moving to Bedford in 2019. Jasmine has always had a heart for working with women but was reluctant to work with girls although many suggested it. However, after having her first child in 2017, Jasmine was inspired to work with girls as she was blessed with a beautiful baby girl.

Jasmine has overcome many struggles in her life from a dysfunctional and abusive childhood to a toxic and abusive marriage. Yet, she has found her faith and inner work, personal development, has helped her recover from situations that would otherwise have been soul destroying, becoming better and stronger.

It’s this determination that leads Jasmine to make a positive difference to females right here in Luton and Bedfordshire. Jasmine shares her story to empower and encourage others. Jasmine’s authenticity comes from her belief that when she lets her light shine others are encouraged to do the same

So you now a bit about each of the fantastic speakers that we had lined up for June’s The Women Like Me Luton & Beds Conference. What they shared quite frankly was amazing and we know because that’s what the feedback we’ve received tells us.

There were many of you who wanted to be there but for one reason or another were not able to. Well, we’re going to give you an opportunity to experience it. Watch this space.