Loving Enough to Leave

It’s ages since I’ve written a blog. However, after The Women Like Me Luton & Beds Conference I’ve re-committed myself to sharing from the heart. My major learning of late is love isn’t always about being there through thick and thin. Sometimes love requires you to leave.

So Why is Leaving Loving?

Firstly, leaving my relationship meant I remembered to love me. It meant I had finally acknowledged that I and my feelings mattered. It meant I had accepted my relationship was toxic and abusive, deciding to stand up for myself and my happiness. For a long time I’d been surviving and felt like I was slowly dying inside. I lost connection with myself so didn’t realised how anxious I’d become or that I was becoming depressed. Losing the fight needed for my hopes and dreams to become a reality. Slipping into a state of existence, numbed existence, where I just go through the motions. Leaving meant loving myself so I could stop trying to be okay and just start being again.

Another reason why leaving was an act of love is because it meant my daughter would be able to grow up with a mum who breathed. What I mean by that is a mum who was present, who lived in the moment, who felt. Instead of a mum struggling, falling into depression and anxiety and simply trying to survive. My example would be one that she could follow in life and relationships. As I would learn how to set and uphold appropriate boundaries including being treated with respect and love. Leaving was love as my daughter would now be in a home environment in which she would feel safe because I felt safe.

The last reason why leaving was loving is because I didn’t stop loving my partner. I just stopped hoping and wishing he would change. I recognised change was something he had to want for himself but I didn’t have to suffer while he figured that out. I realised leaving would give him the chance to see just how damaging his behaviour had been. A chance to reflect and see ‘it wasn’t that bad’ was a lie. I knew, however, change might never come and whether it did or didn’t wasn’t on me. I left that to him and God. Leaving was the loving slap that might awaken him and I wasn’t looking to benefit from it. I wasn’t going to look back.

Leaving meant my life took unexpected turns that VERY few understood. It meant my life sunk to depths I never imagined. Here I was a professional, a business women in refuge. On top of that I wasn’t 100% sure that I was doing the right thing. Yet leaving meant I was free. Free to learn and free love again. Starting with myself.

There’s a saying, if you love something set it free and if it’s yours it’ll come back to you. Love yourself, set yourself free and you’ll come back to you. I’m here to tell the tale. And I’m breathing with a smile on my face. There’s life after abuse. You can recover. And you can learn to love yourself again.

All the best

Jasmine 😉😘

Speaker, Trainer, Coach and Director of The Like Me CIC.

Jasmine is determined to make a positive difference to females in Luton and Bedfordshire. Primarily through events, training and in future a magazine. Jasmine shares her story to empower and encourage others. Jasmine’s authenticity comes from her belief that when she lets her light shine, others are encouraged to do the same.

14th June 2019: Speakers

The date a dream came true. Life can be so challenging and difficult at times, the key is to keep on going, focusing on what you want. That’s what I did and boy am I glad because on 14th June  2019, I achieved a dream.  The Women Like Me Luton Conference was such a great day, not perfect yet great. We had planned for the women attending to be encouraged and empowered and the feedback reveals that’s exactly what they were along with being inspired and more. There were just over 70 of us and below are the speakers and their bios, who shared and touched each woman present. All speakers were highly rated by attendees.

To check out the pictures from our fab day in another blog post click here…Enjoy and hopefully you’ll join us in November for our next conference. Pre-register for our November The Women Like Me Luton & Beds Conference by entering your details here. Get in touch to partner with us.

Jacqi Burnett FMAAT, MCMI originates from Hackney, London and has lived in Luton for over 30 years. She has worked in financial management, equality, diversity and inclusion in the public, private and voluntary sectors.
She has been a Labour Luton councillor since 2007 and is the Portfolio Holder for Customer & Commercial (Traded Services).

Clare Copleston is Managing Director and Strategic lead at the multi award winning organisation –  Meaningful Education CIC and founder of the Bedfordshire Dignity Network. Clare has successfully developed the strategic Vision, Scope and Mission of the organisation and has a demonstrated history of working within the Health & Social Care Industry. Clare has over 16 years’ experience, specialising in Mental Health services both Public and Private Health Care. 

www.meaningfuleducation.org.uk

Kuljit Lally has over 20 years’ experience in all aspects of child and family law. She’s passionate about working with women and her company’s holy trinity is “people, work space and technology”, maximising talent retention and the quality of all legal services provided. The Aristone team believes in a people-first approach and over-delivering for every client.

www.aristonesolicitors.co.uk

Corene Campbell is from a group called voices with soul, 3 bright bubbly ladies with big voices, which were finalists in X-Factor.  Before entering the X-Factor TV show, Corene worked as a Supervisor at Cineworld in Luton and also studied Advertising and Marketing Communications at the University of Luton, where she was diagnosed with dyslexia. ,  onto a show called ‘All together now ‘ 2018/2019 on BBC1 becoming a judge not just once but twice.

Anusjka Regis-Etumnu is a wife and mother of two. She is also an author and entrepreneur who lives with the devastating illness called Sickle Cell.

Anusjka began a campaign to become the first woman in the UK to be cured of sickle cell in early 2018. She shares avidly on her experience and helps to raise awareness, even being featured in the press.

https://www.gofundme.com/cureforanusjka

Shahida Khan is a mother and grandma, who refuses to let age and loss stop her. She has committed to developing her potential and pursuing her passions.

Shahida loves bringing people together and sharing from the heart, so volunteers with the us at The Like Me CIC.

Jasmine Mbye is the Director of The Like Me CIC, Speaker, Trainer, Coach, who passionately seeks to empower and encourage women and girls with confidence. Hence becoming the Confidence Grande Dame. Plus, supporting the development of courage, celebration, clarity and resilience. With over 10 years professional experience of training and development along with personal experience of becoming confident, Jasmine builds a connection with those she meets through her openness and willingness to be vulnerable.

Special Guests 

Hasina is a Self Defence expert. She has been a fitness instructor and Personal Trainer since 2006. Hasina is a fully qualified Personal Trainer, with 2 black belts in Karate and Kickboxing. It is her passion to help others get fit and healthy and enjoy life! But most of all to be happy with themselves inside and out, especially women.

www.instagram.com/pinkdiamondmartialarts

Rose Marie Calder is a public speaking specialist who went from being too shy to speak to those she knew, let alone strangers. To becoming a woman who helps others find their voice and share their story. 

Rose Marie leads two Toastmaster groups; Luton Communicators.

www.unbeatabledreams.com

Tremaine is a talented vocalist and pianist who takes her inspiration from Motown, Jazz, Classical and Gospel Music.

She writes and sings beautiful songs about life and love that will leave you feeling blessed and inspired. 

www.tremmusic.com

 

14th June 2019: The Pics

We had a great day on Friday, 14th June and below are some of the pics of our encouraging, empowering and inspiring day. Every speaker was amazing and shared from the heart with such openness and vulnerability.  We had just over 70 women attend and all in all, it was a great day, which we think the pictures somewhat capture. Check them out below. If you want to see the list and bios of the speakers, click here,

If you haven’t already, register your interest to join us at our event in November by clicking here. We’re aiming to make it even better. 

Enjoy the pics!

Attendee Liked

Diversity of women their lives and experience but all together with the same goals. Everyone supported each other, felt in a safe environment to be yourself .

Marie

That there was a workshop and that everyone was involved and that they talked with others on the table whether they know them or not.
Firstly thanks for the time and effort for all the speakers, event organiser and all who were involved…

Sharon

Being able to get together with other women and talk about our struggles and strengths, inspiring one another.

Lauren

It was well organised, orderly and very friendly

Lorraine

Why note join us at the next conference? Then you can have your own experience. Secure your seat with an Early bird price by registering here now! Hope to see you there!